Damaged Goods
by Exorcist
Summary: Tom tries to cope


Please e-mail me if you notice any problems. Thank you to Thea and Ace for their help.  
  
PART 1  
  
"How could this have happened Tom?" his mother asked him. The letter she held was from Bromwell University, and the look on her face was not one of happiness.  
"Damn." thought Tom "Looks like the jig is up." Tom had planned on using christmas break to sort himself out, and figure out what to do about his grade problem. He hadn't expected Bromwell to send a letter to his parents telling them he was on academic probation.  
"They must be worried about losing those big fat cheques." he muttered to himself under his breath.  
"What?" his mother asked.  
"Nothing." Tom quickly replied.  
His mother glared at him "This is serious young man. Academic probation is not something you just laugh off. Why didn't you tell us something was the matter?" she asked.  
"I really didn't know what to do, mom. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and besides, you know I'm not good about asking for help." Tom replied.  
Tom's mother looked at him for a moment, and then sighed. "Oh Tom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump down your throat as soon as you came through the door. The letter only just came today, and I was so upset. Don't worry, we'll do everything we can to fix this." she said, raising the letter for emphasis.  
"Great." replied Tom unenthusiasticly "I'm going to go to my room for a while." Tom picked up his bags and proceeded up the stairs to his room.  
  
PART 2  
  
Later that evening, Tom emerged from his room to the smell of dinner. Even though he was starving, he wasn't sure he wanted to face his father or the barbs of his sister, Elsie. Finally his stomach got the better of him, and he quietly made his way downstairs. Steeling himself, Tom pushed open the door of the dining room and walked in.  
His mother looked up from her meal and smiled at him "There you are. Are you hungry Tom? I can get a plate for you if you are."  
At the mention of food, Tom's stomach gurgled loudly. "Thanks mom. I am pretty hungry." Tom said. He sat down at the table while his mother got up and went into the kitchen. A few moments later, she emerged from the kitchen with a plateful of hot food and some silverware.  
"Thanks mom." Tom said as she placed the food in front of him. "By the way, where is everyone?"  
"Well, your father is out of town on business this week, and Elsie is on a date, so it's just you and me for now." his mother replied.  
Inwardly, Tom breathed a sigh of relief. He could deal with his mother, but he just wasn't ready for the rest of his family.  
"So tell me Tom, other than your grades, how is everything going?" his mother asked him, after sitting back down.  
Tom winced slightly. It was another touchy subject, but he didn't want his mother to know just how bad it was. "Barbara and I broke up." he said simply.  
His mother stopped eating then. "Oh, Tom. I'm so sorry. First Amber, and now Barbara. what are you going to do?" she asked.  
"Well I think I'll keep working my way through the alphabet, bypassing the D's, of course." said Tom with a slight smile on his face.  
"Tom, this is serious. No wonder your grades are suffering! We have to do something about this." she said. She thought for a moment "I know! Your father had an appointment with his therapist tomorrow, but he wont be able to make it because of his trip. I'll ask if you can go in his place." she said finally.  
Tom was skeptical, but willing to give it a shot. "I suppose it really couldn't hurt." he said  
"Wonderful. I'll call his office in the morning." she said happily.  
  
PART 3  
  
The next day, Tom walked into the office of Dr. Phillip Gregory, licensed psychiatrist, and his father's longtime therapist. The secretary looked up at him as he came in.  
"Can I help you?" she asked in a tone that obviously said she didn't want to.  
"Yes. I'm Tom Sloane, I have an appointment with Dr. Gregory" Tom said  
"Ah, yes. He'll be out in just a moment. He's currently with a patient." she replied in a disinterested tone. "Go on and take a seat."  
Tom grabbed an ancient magazine and sat down in one of the many uncomfortable chairs that lined the walls.  
About 5 minutes later, the door next to the secretary's desk opened and two men walked out. "Good session today, George. Remember, you can handle it, you just have to take things one day at a time." said one of the men, who must have been Dr. Gregory.  
"Thank you doctor. I don't know what I would do without you." said the other man, shaking the hand of the first. The man then turned and walked out of the office with a smile on his face.  
Dr. Gregory turned to Tom "You must be Angier's boy. I'm Dr. Gregory." The man said  
"Yes, I'm Tom. It's nice to meet you." said Tom  
"Well, come on in, and we'll get started." said Dr. Gregory, motioning towards his office door.  
Tom walked into the spacious office, which looked to be part library, and part bedroom, as psychiatrist's offices invariably seem to be.  
"Why don't you lay down on the couch there." the doctor said  
Tom sat down on the couch and immediately noticed that it was much more comfortable than the chairs in the waiting room. "They probably do that on purpose." Thought Tom, finally laying down.  
Dr. Gregory sat down across form Tom in his huge chair. "So Tom, tell me how you're doing." he said.  
"Hmm...where to start? Well, I just broke up with my third girlfriend in six months, I've been placed on academic probation, and I'm living in mortal fear of my father and sister." said Tom after some thought "Other than that, Ok."  
"Ah. And how long have you been afraid of your father?" asked the psychiatrist  
"What? Since I've been placed on academic probation. Otherwise I have no reason to fear my father." said Tom.  
"I see. So you feel that you father has unreasonably high expectations of you?" asked the doctor.  
"I'm not sure that 'getting good grades' qualifies as unreasonably high expectations." said Tom, slightly annoyed.  
"I see. What kind of relationship do you have with your mother?" the doctor asked, after writing something down on his notepad.  
"Excuse me?" replied Tom, suspicious of where the conversation was headed.  
"I asked how you felt about your mother. Do you get along with her? Or are you as afraid of her judging you as you are of your father?" asked the doctor  
"My mom and I get along ok. I really don't think that I have an oedipal complex if that's what you're getting at." answered Tom, now getting a little annoyed.  
"Mmm. Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" asked Dr. Gregory.  
Tom just looked at the man for a moment. He realized that he had been his father's therapist for quite some time, but he just wasn't sure that this was going to help him. "I'm sorry Dr. Gregory, but I have to go." said Tom as he got to his feet. "I appreciate your willingness to see me on such short notice, but this really isn't helping me. Goodbye."  
Tom walked out of the office and into the mid-afternoon sunshine. Something wasn't sitting right, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.  
  
PART 4  
  
When Tom returned home the house was quiet. "Mom and Elsie must be out shopping or something right now." thought Tom. He was relieved that he didn't have to explain what had happened at the psychiatrist's office. Breathing a sigh of relief, Tom went to his room to take a nap.  
Tom couldn't believe how tired he was. Normally he had trouble sleeping, his mind racing a mile a minute, but this time he was asleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow. A few minutes later he was dreaming.  
Tom dreamed that he was walking down a long, dark hall. At the end of it was a door, slightly open, with light streaming thorough the crack. Tom walked to the end of the hall, and opened the door. Beyond it was a waiting room, similar to the one he had been in that afternoon.  
As Tom was looking around, the door to the psychiatrist's office creaked open, though no one was behind it. Tom pushed the door the rest of the way open, hoping to find someone who could tell him what was going on. However, nothing greeted Tom except a gray room, furnished only by a psychiatrist's couch and a large chair. Tom walked into the room, closing the door behind him.  
Not having any idea of what else to do, Tom sat down on the couch. "I just hope I won't have to talk about my parents again" said Tom to no one in particular. To his surprise, someone answered him.  
"Oh don't worry, I have no intention of touching that mess." said a voice  
Tom started at the familiar voice. "Daria?" Tom whimpered "Is that you?"  
Daria sat down in the huge chair, and crossed her legs. "Well, yes and no. You see, I can't really be Daria, because you're dreaming. I guess you could say that I'm how you perceive Daria. But, just so we don't get bogged down in semantics, you can call me Daria." she said.  
"Oh. Okay. Um, what exactly am I doing here?" asked Tom, still a bit confused.  
"Well, you're lying down on a psychiatrist's couch, so maybe you have some issue that needs to be resolved, and your subconscious mind brought you here because the last place you had been was a psychiatrist's office." said Daria  
"That makes sense, but why are you here?" Tom inquired.  
Daria thought for a moment. "It probably has something to do with the way that you perceive the real Daria. You yourself once said that you looked up to her, and valued her opinion. So you created a representation of her (me) in order to get to the root of whatever is troubling you." she explained.  
"Oh. That makes sense too." said Tom "I guess we should get started then...Um, where should we start exactly?" he asked.  
Daria sort of rolled her eyes a little "Haven't you been having some troubles lately? Why don't we talk about that." said Daria.  
Tom shifted uncomfortably. This was about where things had gone wrong with Dr. Gregory that afternoon. "Well, my grades have been kind of bad lately. So bad, in fact, that I'm on academic probation." said Tom apprehensively.  
Daria looked at Tom a little annoyed "Tom, I may look like Daria, but I'm still a part of your subconscious mind. I know that's not all that's bothering you, but you have to actually say it." she said.  
"You're right." Tom said "That's not everything. I've also had 2 failed relationships in the last 6 months." he expounded.  
Daria wrote something down on the notepad she was holding. Tom thought it was strange that he hadn't noticed she was holding it before, but dismissed it quickly. This was a dream after all.  
"So things started going bad about 6 months ago?" Daria asked  
"Yeah, that's right. Come to think of it, that was about the time that...that..." Tom stopped.  
"Yes? Go on." Daria urged.  
"That was when Daria broke up with me." Tom said, almost in a whisper. It was a subject Tom had alternately thought a lot about, and tried not to think about. It still hurt, even 6 months later.  
"Now I think we're getting somewhere." said Daria "This has obviously affected you quite deeply. Why do you think that is?" she asked.  
Tom thought for a moment "I'm not really sure. I really cared about her, I guess." he said wistfully.  
"It sounds like you really miss her. When was the last time you talked?" asked Daria.  
"About 4 months ago, just before we both left for college. I bumped into her at the pizza place. She and Jane were talking about trying to find a place together in Boston Hearing them talk made me wish that I was going to be going to college near them, instead of several hours away." said Tom.  
"Why do you think that is?" asked Daria, once again writing in her notepad.  
"I...I don't know. I guess I didn't really think our relationship should have ended when it did. I think there was just...something else for us to do." he said.  
"You mean having sex?" asked Daria  
"No, that's not what I meant. I mean how I felt when I was around her. My relationship with her was the most meaningful I have ever had. I mean I Loved her, I..." Tom stopped talking. Something was starting to dawn on him.  
"I think that's what we were here to find out." said Daria "You Love her, and you don't think you reached the end of your relationship, despite what you told her at the time. Now, what are you going to do about it?" asked Daria.  
Tom sat up. "I really don't know. I never even considered this. I don't know." he replied, a little shaken.  
"Well, anyway, I think our time's up. Here." she said, and handed him the notepad she had been writing on.  
Tom looked down at the notepad. It was Daria's phone number, and written below it: CALL HER.  
When Tom looked up again Daria was gone, and so was the chair she had been sitting in. Tom looked down again. Instead of Daria's phone number, there was only one word printed repeatedly up and down the entire page: Bzzzzzzzt! Bzzzzzzz!  
Tom didn't quite know what to make of it. Then he heard it, quietly at first, then louder and louder until the thought his eardrums would burst: BZZZZZZZZZZ!  
  
PART 5  
  
Tom sat up quickly, slightly disoriented. For a second he didn't know where he was, and he could still hear that loud buzzing noise. After a moment he realized that he was in his bedroom, and the noise was his alarm clock going off.  
Tom reached over and shut it off, taking a moment to look at the time: 8:30am. He had slept the whole afternoon and night, and now it was morning.  
As the sleep slowly faded from his mind, Tom thought about the dream he had just had. He had come to realize that he didn't just still have feelings for Daria, he Loved her. Now, what was he going to do about it?  
"I guess I should take a shower, and eat something." Tom said to no one in particular "Then we'll see."  
Tom shaved, and then showered, all the while thinking about what he was going to do. Eventually he decided that he would call her at her parent's house, and ask her to have lunch with him. Hopefully she was home by now, otherwise he would have to go all the way to Boston.  
After getting dressed, Tom listened carefully to make sure no one was outside in the hall. He was very hungry, but he didn't really want to deal with anyone this morning.  
Fortunately, all was quiet, and the doors to both his sister's and parent's rooms were still closed. Tom went downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a few things, then made a hasty retreat back to his room.  
After eating a bit, Tom reached for the phone. For a while, he just held it, trying to think of what he was going to say. Finally, taking a breath to prepare himself, Tom started dialing Daria's house.  
After 2 rings someone picked up "Hello?" said a woman's voice.  
"Not Daria" Tom thought. "Maybe Daria's mom." a second later he answered her "Is Daria there?"  
"May I ask who's calling?" asked the woman.  
"It's Tom Sloane." he said, a little apprehensively.  
"Oh, hello Tom! Yes, Daria got in last night. Let me go see if she's awake yet." said Helen.  
A few minutes later Tom heard a sleepy monotone voice: "Hello?" said Daria.  
"Hi, Daria. It's Tom." he said  
"Hello Tom. How are you?" she asked.  
"I'm doing ok." he answered "Anyway, I was calling to see if you were busy this afternoon. There was something I wanted to ask your advice about, and I kind of wanted to do it in person." he continued.  
"Um, sure. I guess that's okay. Did you want to get pizza or something?" Daria asked.  
"Pizza sounds good. Around 1:00?" he asked.  
"That sounds fine." she answered.  
"Great! I'll see you then." Tom said.  
With that they both said their goodbyes, and hung up. Tom breathed a heavy sigh of relief. It had gone better than he expected. Now all he had to do was make it to 1:00.  
  
PART 6  
  
Tom took a plate in each hand and carefully made his way back to the booth where Daria was sitting.  
"Get 'em while they're hot." said Tom with a smile on his face. He put Daria's plate down in front of her, and then sat down.  
Daria took a sip from her soda, and then looked down and her pizza. "You said on the phone that there was something you wanted my advice on?" she asked.  
Tom had just taken a bite of pizza, and swallowed hard when she asked him that. "Well, yes. But that can wait a few minutes. How's everything been going?" he asked.  
"Fine. The professors are nice enough, the students aren't nearly as dumb as in high school, and Jane and I found a nice place not too far from either of our schools. How about you?" she asked.  
Tom thought for a moment, finally deciding that the truth would probably be best "Not so well actually. I've been placed on academic probation." he said finally.  
Daria set her piece of pizza down and looked at Tom, her eyebrows raised in surprise. "You? On academic probation? What the hell happened?" she asked.  
Tom sat quietly for a moment, not sure how to proceed. "Well, it's kind of hard to put into words exactly. I'm not even sure where to begin." he said, kind of stumbling over his words.  
"Out with it Sloane!" said Daria, trying to speed things along.  
Tom took a deep breath, and then sighted. "It all started 6 months ago right after...after we broke up. I tried to get back on the horse again, get myself back on the market, so to speak." he said.  
"I'll go out on a limb and say that it didn't work out." said Daria, taking a bite of her pizza.  
"I crashed and burned with 2 different girls. and while that was going on, I was trying to get into the swing of things at Bromwell, but I couldn't seem to manage it. All of my motivation seemed to have just drained away." Tom said, bitterly.  
"So you're saying all of this is my fault?" she asked angrily.  
"No." said Tom quickly "That's not what I meant at all. It's just that all of this made me realize something."  
"And that is?" asked Daria, still a little annoyed.  
Tom looked up, knowing that what he said next would change their relationship forever. He dreaded it, but at the same time he knew it had to be said, or it would eat away at him for the rest of his life.  
"I Love you, Daria." he said simply.  
Daria sat in shocked silence for a few minutes. She had never even considered this. A number of emotions surged through her. She was a little annoyed and kind of angry. It was unfair of Tom, she felt, to take this burden from his own shoulders and place it on hers. At the same time she was confused. She really didn't know how she should feel.  
Tom finally broke the silence "Please, say something." he said quietly.  
Daria was silent for a few more moments before she finally spoke. "Tom, I'm not really sure that I feel that way about you." she said  
Tom cringed at the words, but stayed silent.  
"I suppose in a perfect world I would have thrown myself across the table at you, thrilled at the opportunity to once again be a part of your life." Daria continued "But the world isn't perfect, it just is, and we have to live in it, no matter what."  
She watched Tom as she spoke, noticing that he seemed to be paying more attention to the pattern of pepperoni slices on his pizza than the words she was saying.  
She sighed "However, this doesn't mean that we can never get back together," she went on "it just means that we probably shouldn't get together right now. I hope you understand." she finished, hoping that he had actually heard her.  
Tom let his head hang for a moment more, before finally raising it. "I think I understand." he said "I'm mostly just glad that I got a chance to tell you how I felt."  
Tom did genuinely feel better. It was as if a tremendous burden had been lifted off of his soul, despite the fact that things hadn't quite gone the way he had hoped.  
Daria smiled at him, one of those rare and beautiful smiles that had caught his heart in the first place.  
"Listen, Tom, I have to get going, but I promise I'll give you a call later this week." said Daria, getting to her feet. She walked over to where Tom was sitting, bent down, and kissed him on the cheek. Daria smiled at Tom once more, and then turned around and headed for the door.  
Tom watched her as she left, thinking that there were a million things he still wanted to say to her, but couldn't find the words. His stomach felt like a huge knot, and there was a lump in his throat, but somehow he still felt better than before.  
The one other thing that Tom took consolation in was that this felt more like a beginning than an ending. 


End file.
